Turkish Barber

Being folicolly challenged, why I go to the barbers to get my hair cut is a mystery.

However, for the uninitiated, once you get to my time of life, more hairs grow out your ears than on the top of your head, (What's that all about) 

Turkish Barbers, apart from being rough and feeding you strange alcoholic syrupy type stuff and putting you in a head lock, have a fascination to set fire to anything that's not growing on top the of your head.

So I'm watching this guy dips the biggest taper in the world, into a bottle of rocket-fuel, that ignites, even before the lighter has a chance get to near it, proceeds to flick it agains my ear to get rid of any offending stray hairs.  As he's doing this, the head of the offending instrument, like the really hot burning bit, flies off the taper and attaches itself to my ear, and he doesn't even notice. 

Just didn't hurt enough, like really just didn't  hurt enough.

The privilege of being branded cost me £10.  Note the hair lurking about in my ear, well it's staying there.  FOR EVER.

Bob the CAT

I thought I should share this..... 

Just woke Bob up.

Grumpy or what !!

Saab

This just isn't happening. 

Give Way means Give Way. Enough said !!

The Cows

So I had my young Godson staying for a few days.

He really likes visiting the local farm to look at the animals and on this occasion, God knows why, I decided to take him through the woodland at the bottom of the garden as a bit of an adventure. 

I'm not going to mention about getting stuck trying to cross the stream or me falling in up to my waist when we did attempt it, although it did make it easier for him to cross over, as he let me know in no uncertain terms.  To be honest, I'm not sure who leads who astray the most. I digress. 

We eventually got to the fence line on the other side of the woodland where we then had to climb through the fence to avoid the barbed wire running along the top, this would allow us entry into the farmers field with the cows. 

(At this point may I remind you that I was still soaking wet having just fallen waist deep, into the stream)  

I grabbed onto the middle of the fence with both hands in order to pull it up to allow James to crawl under the barbed wire.   "So that'll be the "Old Electric Fence Cable, running through the middle of the Wire Fence Ploy" 

Luckily my Godson didn't realise the the destructive capability of the Farmer's 2 mile long Taser Death Trap and happily went off to feed the cows

That'll be the offending "zap-wire" on the fence in the background.

On the Electric Fence Scale for inflicting pain = 10/10

You really couldn't make it up !

When you need to get home

So the storms that hit Scotland a few weeks ago caused havoc for many people. 

Listening to the reports on the radio should have been warning enough for any sane person, but NO, I decided that I'd drive the 127 miles home after a 12 hour shift rather than than stay local.  I'd heard that the main M74 motorway was closed in both directions so decided I'd cut across country to miss all the traffic.

 

This is not funny.

Neither was this

This really isn't happening

Enough is enough

I'm now desperate 

Just so you know, at this point I got trapped as a tree came down behind me. Of course had no phone siignal. A big "Thank You" to Dumfries & Galloway Constabulary and the farmer with the Bushman Saw who rescued me.  

Really.  Proof that someone up there really doesn't want me to get home. Unbelievable. 

Bob the CAT

Whilst all is calm I thought this would be a good oportunity to introduce my cat 'Bob'

We called her Bob because we thought she was a Boy. Really. 

5 kittens later we realised our mistake but if Black Adder can get away with it, why shouldn't we.

Grumpy or what !!